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Three words sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on
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OK, so only a few things to say.

I'm pregnant.

I'm 8 1/2 weeks.

I'm SUPER excited, although it is still early.

I'm barfing a lot....and I mean more than twice a day.

I sleep a lot.

I'm tired right now.

I'm going to bed.

Good night everyone....YAY ME.

Current Mood: barfing

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Wow.

I haven't posted since Aug 28...I'm so neglectful.

Well, lots has happened. Where do I begin.

We had a bunch of different family come to visit. Which was good and bad. Brooke started pre-school in September.

Went to the work Gala...drank my face off and danced with a bunch of good friends. Good times.

Went to a funeral for my sister in laws Grampa...which scared me cause he's only 65...that could have been my dad. It was a massive heart attack...no one saw it coming. Some times it's better that way.

October was very emotional for me. At the beginning I found out I was pregnant, which was so exciting. Brent and I were all smiles all the time. Half way through the month I started bleeding, which can be normal sometimes. I went through a bunch of different blood tests and ultrasounds. Which looked fine at first...then on the 21st I had such bad pain, it couldn't be mistaken what happened..I mis-carried, or so I thought. To make a long story short I had to have a D&C to clean everything out. It was the worst experience I've ever had to go through.

I was off work for just about 3 weeks dealing with everything. My close friends were really there for me, which helped a lot. Started back to work this week...it hasn't really changed much.

Went to an awesome party this weekend and hopefully another social on saturday.

I've been doing well physically and emotionally it's getting better...still having trouble sleeping.

Anyways...that's been my past few months. I'll update more often...I still enjoy reading you're entries...they help me remain normal...If that is such a thing..

Good night kids.
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Hi everyone. I know I haven't posted in a while, summer's been really busy. Tell me how you all are doing....

Current Mood: happy
Current Music: Move Along - The All American Rejects

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myspace survey
{{ the basics }}
name:Susie
nicknames:Q, pee wee, rooster
age:26
birthday:December
location:Canada
gender:Female
star sign:Sag
sexual preference:ummm...
marital status:married
siblings:1 brother
pets:nope
hobbies:reading, gardening, partying
righty or lefty:righty
height:5'3
hair color:blondish brown
eye color:green
glasses or braces:neither
tattoos or piercings:ears
{{ favorites }}
color:blue
store:Rickis
makeup:Mac, Quo
band:Blue Rodeo, Dixie Chicks, Black Eyed Peas
singer:Too many I like
cd:Black Eyed Peas
soundtrack:Soound of Music
movie:Mr & Mrs Smith
number:3
season:fall
icecream flavor:vanilla
website:esty.ca
quote:Everything I've learned if life I can sum up in 3 words: it goes on
actor:Brad Pitt
actress:Sarah Jessica Parker
designer:Tommy
type of movie:comedy/action
type of music:anything really
place to be:at home
time of day:evening
animal:dolphin
food:anything mexican
holiday:anything that gets me time off work
restaurant:Carlos & Murphys
fast-food restaurant:Taco Bell
word:bizatch
month:October
candy:Rockets
style of clothes:anything
shoes:flip flop
non-alcholic drink:is there such a thing...ummm Iced Tea
television show:Grey's Anatomy
car:Mustang
book:any Mystery novel
cartoon character:Goofy
{{ random }}
have you ever been in love?:yes
do you believe in love at first sight?:no
do you believe in God?:yes
do you believe in ghosts/paranormal?:no
do you believe in aliens?:no
have you ever been on stage?:yes
how often do you paint your nails?:once every weeks or so
what kind of perfume do you wear?:Tommy Girl, Vanilla Fields
do you text on your cell phone?:no
mtv or vh1?:whatever
disney or nickelodeon?:disney
love or lust?:both
hugs or kisses?:both
coke or pepsi?:Has to be Pepsi
quiet or loud?:loud
texting or iming?:iming
what are three things you want to accomplish in life?:Another child, more money, live forever
are you weird?:occasionally
do you think you're funny?:sometimes....yes
describe yourself in three words:dependable, loveable, respectable
Take this survey | Find more surveys
You've been totally Bzoink*d

Current Mood: cranky

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I love my new icon.
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Here is my new niece. Her name is Cayla. Them my daughter Brooke, and Cayla's older brothers Alex and Tyler.







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This is Brent and Brooke...cute aren't they???
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I don't even know where to start.

First of all, I was just reading some of Adrea's memories..and I almost started balling. I love the email from Andrew, I wish work was still like that.

Second, I've been having so many anxiety attacks this week. It's scary really.

Third, I need to get away for a while. I wish I had enough money to just take off.

Fourth, I'm just sick of the same old shit. All the people on my new team are kind of losers, except for Dayna. I think I've mentioned her before, she's the "close talker".

Fifth, no one understands what's going through my head and no one knows what to do, including me! I cannot concentrate, I'm shaky all the time, my moods change at the drop of a hat..jeez this is insane.

Sixth, I want everything to be the way it was, before. It's hard to explain.

Seventh, I hate having to justify my every move at work.

Eighth, I got a Does Not Meet for last quarter.

Ninth, I like the medication I'm on but, I really hate taking medication..make sense?

Tenth, I just looked around...and my house is a mess.

Eleventh, I need a new job. Seriously, I don't see myself at this job for much longer...I hate it.

Twelfth, I've been talking to my doctor and she recommends that I only work 6 hours per day, which is good but work is being a bitch about it. Of course they think everyone is faking everything.

And finally lucky number Thirteen.... I miss Adrea

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Current Mood: I don't know

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I'll start at the beginning.

I missed work Thursday, Friday and Monday because I was sick/hate work.

On Wednesday I went to work (I have Tuesdys off) only to discover that I was getting my period. And yes although that's normal...it's not with me. I was only through a week and a half of pills.. WTF right? So... I didn't know I had my period till I stood up from my chair at work and noticed a "stain" on the chair!!! I thought I was going to die. Thankfully only the girl who sits behind me saw and thankfully I was wearing black! So I go the bathroom and clean everything up, come back to tell my Team Leader. Esther, my TL, says to me..we it's not that bad...don't you think you can stay? (remind you of Rosa, Adrea?) Anyways..I was already embarassed to the fullest extent and now she wants me to stay the rest of the day. I was like....NO F'N WAY!!

So I cried all the way home cause I don't know whats wrong with my body. I'm only 26 and I have IBS, B-12 deficient and anxiety attacks. Interesting how none of the started until I started this job. And of course all 3 are linked together and if you set one off the other 2 are affected immediatly!

So needless to say I had a shitty week ... and I don't ever want to go back.

I have to go to the doctor on Tuesday..so maybe she'll tell me I'm dying. At least that way I won't have to go back to work right?

Jeez...I'm super stressed out right now. I've gained 10 pounds and my face is so badly broken out.

This sucks.

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Current Mood: stressed

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In October of 2001, my sister started getting very sick, she had stomach

spasms, she was having a hard time getting around, to walk was a major

chore. It took everything she had just to get out of bed,

she was in so much pain. By March 2002, she had undergone biopsies, and was

on 24 various prescription medications. The doctors could not figure out

what was wrong with her. She was in so much pain, and so sick, she knew she

was dying.

She put her house, bank accounts, life insurance, etc., in her oldest

daughters name, and made sure her younger children were to be with her

oldest daughter.

She wanted her last hooray, so she planned a trip to Florida (basically in

a wheelchair) for March 22nd. On March 19th I called her to ask her how one

of her tests went, and she said they didn't find anything on the test, but

they believe she had MS. I thought, oh, my....then I recalled an article a

friend of mine emailed to me..and I asked her...Do you drink Diet pop?

She told me yes, as a matter of fact she was getting ready to crack one open

that moment, I told her not to open it, and stop drinking the diet

pop....and I emailed her the following article. She called me within 32

hours after our phone conversation and told me she stopped drinking the diet

pop, and she can walk...she went up the stairs, and the muscle spasms went

away. She said she didn't feel 100% but sure felt a lot better. She told me

she was going to her doctors with this article and would call me back when

she got home.

She called me, and her doctor was amazed, he is going to call all of his MS

patients to find out if they consumed artificial sweetener. In a nutshell,

she was being poisoned by the aspartame in the diet soda, dying a slow

death.

When she got to FL March 22nd, all she had to take was one pill, and that

was a pill for poisoning....she is well on her way to recovery.!....and she

is walking!!! No wheelchair!!!! This article saved her life! The life

saving article:

If it says "SUGAR FREE," on the label, DO NOT EVEN THINK ABOUT IT! I have

spent several days lecturing at the WORLD ENVIRONMENTAL CONFERENCE on

"ASPARTAME"

marketed as 'NutraSweet,' 'Equal,' and 'Spoonful.' In the keynote address

by the EPA, it was announced that in the United States in 2001 there is an

epidemic of multiple sclerosis and systemic lupus, that it was hard to

understand what toxin was causing this to be rampant. I stood up and said

that I was there to lecture on exactly that subject.

I will explain why Aspartame is so dangerous: When the temperature of this

sweetener exceeds 86 degrees F, the wood alcohol in ASPARTAME converts to

Formaldehyde and then to formic acid, which in turn causes metabolic

acidosis. (Formic acid is the poison found in the sting of fire ants.) The

methanol toxicity mimics among other conditions multiple sclerosis. People

were being diagnosed with having multiple sclerosis in error. The multiple

sclerosis is not a death sentence, where methanol toxicity is!

Systemic lupus has become almost as rampant as multiple sclerosis,

especially with Diet Coke and Diet Pepsi drinkers. The victim usually does

not know that the aspartame is the culprit. He or she continues its use,

irritating the lupus to such a degree that it may become life-threatening We

have seen patients with systemic lupus become asymptotic once taken off diet

sodas. In the case of those diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis, (when in

reality, the disease is methanol toxicity), most of the symptoms disappear.

We've seen many cases where vision returned and hearing improved markedly.

This also applies to cases of tinnitus.

During a lecture I said "If you are using ASPARTAME (NutraSweet, Equal,

Spoonful, etc.) and

you suffer from fibromyalgia symptoms, spasms, shooting pains, numbness in

your legs, cramps, vertigo, dizziness, headaches, tinnitus, joint pain,

depression, anxiety attacks, slurred speech, blurred vision, or memory

loss-you probably have ASPARTAME DISEASE!" People were jumping up during the

lecture saying, I've got some of these symptoms: Is it reversible?" Yes,

Not drinking diet sodas and keeping an eye out for aspartame on food labels,

yes!

We have a very serious problem. A stranger came up to Dr. Espisto (one of my

speakers) and me and said: "Could you tell me why so many people seem to be

coming down with MS?" During a visit to a hospice, a nurse said that six of

her friends, who were heavy Diet Coke addicts, had all been diagnosed with

MS. This is beyond coincidence! Diet Coke and Diet Pepsi, etc. IS NOT A DIET

PRODUCT!

The Congressional Record states that it makes you crave carbohydrates and

will make you FAT. The formaldehyde stores in the fat cells, particularly no

significant increase in exercise, etc., Dr. Roberts in his lecture stated

that he had patient who lost an average of 19 pounds over a trial period.

Aspartame is especially dangerous for diabetics. We found that physicians

would believe that they have a patient with retinopathy, when in fact the

symptoms are caused by aspartame. The aspartame drives the blood sugar out

of control. Thus diabetics may suffer acute memory loss due to the fact that

aspartic acid and phenylalanine are neurotoxic without the other amino acids

found in protein. Thus it passes the blood brain barrier and deteriorates

the neurons of the brain, causing in diabetics (as well as in patients not

suffering from diabetes) various kinds of brain damage, seizures,

depression, manic depression, panic attacks, rage, violence. (The Aspartame

in thousands of pallets of

diet Coke and diet Pepsi consumed by men and women fighting in the Gulf War,

may be partially to blame for the well-known Gulf War Syndrome.

Dr. Roberts warns that it can cause birth defects i.e. mental retardation if

taken at the time

of conception and early pregnancy. Children are especially at risk for

neurological disorders and should NOT be given NutraSweet. I can relate

different case histories of children having mal seizures and other

disturbances being on NutraSweet.

Unfortunately it is not always easy to convince a mother that aspartame is

to blame for her child's illness. Only by trial and success will she be able

to warn other mothers to take their children's health in their own hands.

Stevia, a sweet herb, NOT A MANUFACTURED ADDITIVE, which helps in the

metabolism of sugar (which would be ideal for diabetics) has now been

approved as a dietary supplement by the FDA. For years the FDA has outlawed

this sweet food because of their loyalty to MONSANTO.

Books on this subject are available: EXCITOTOXINS: THE TASTE THAT KILLS -

written by Dr. Russell Blayblock (Health Press 1-800-643-2665) and DEFENSE

AGAINST ALZHEIMER'S DISEASE - written by DR H. J. Roberts, also a diabetic

specialist. These two doctors will be posting a position paper with some

case histories on the deadly effects of Aspartame on the Internet.

According to the Conference of the American College of Physicians "we are

talking about a plague of neurological diseases caused by this deadly

poison." Here is the problem: There were Congressional Hearings when

aspartame was included in 100 different products. Since this initial

hearing, there have been two subsequent hearings, but to no avail. Nothing

has been done. The drug and chemical lobbies have very deep pockets. Now

there are over 5,000 products containing this chemical, and the PATENT HAS

EXPIRED!!!!!

I assure you, MONSANTO, the creator of Aspartame knows how deadly it is They

fund among others, the American Diabetes Association, the American Dietetic

Association, the Conference of the American College of Physicians This has

been exposed in the New York Times - to no avail. These Associations cannot

Criticize any additives or convey their link to MONSANTO because they take

money from the food industry and have to endorse their products. Senator

Howard Hetzenbaum wrote a bill that would have warned all infants, pregnant

mothers and children of the dangers of aspartame. The bill would have also

instituted independent studies on the problems existing in the population

(seizures, changes in brain chemistry, changes neurological and behavioral;

symptoms). It was killed by the powerful drug and chemical lobbies, letting

loose the hounds of disease and death on an unsuspecting public.

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Current Mood: I'm alive aren't I?

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Susie
Name: Susie
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